2008; The Year That I Hate.

  Year 2008 had been a devastating, calamitous and disastrous year for yours truly. Many events occurred had dropped thorny bombshells into the murky depths of my heart. I’m not saying that there were no happy moments at all or that I don’t count my blessings, it’s just that the amount of catastrophe outweighs those countable-with-fingers happy moments. I’d be glad to share with you all some of those uninvited memories.

 

            It all started on the eve of 2008. About almost a month before that, my boyfriend Nazim went to Dubai to visit his Dad. For the half-year that I had been dating him prior to his departure to United Arab Emirates, we had been seeing each other almost every day! At least (and these are only during desperate times) we’d meet each other once a week. So his absence in my life during the period he was in Dubai had left me empty-hearted as well as a constant empty stomach. I looked almost like Michael Jackson! Cheesy, I know, but that’s the truth. When you’re sad and lonely, no matter how hungry you are, you would actually not have an appetite. Well, maybe not you, but definitely me.

 

            So anyway, I did call him once in awhile using those talk cards. On New Year’s Eve of 2008, I called him. To my surprise (so not) I broke down and cried. I missed him so much you have no idea. So yes, at 12.00AM, 1^st of January 2008, I cried and thus my journey of an unfortunate year begun.

 

            The second, and probably the most sorrowful and depressed event of all, was the death of my 9-year-old cat, Bonnie. Now I can rant on about her for many, many pages as I love her too much, but I shan’t. So, I found out that 9 cat years is equivalent to about 55 human years. That would be pretty old I guess, but I still think she should have and could have lived up to at least 12 years.

 

            She died of liver cancer/Hepatitis B (I dare you not to laugh). I said she could have lived longer because I actually had a chance to save her but I couldn’t and I daresay I have to blame my Mom for this. A year before she died, I brought her to the veterinary. The vet did find there was a lump in her liver, and said she could have surgery to remove it for about RM400. My Mom said NO. So a year after that, the lump grew and made her weak. To add insult to the most painful injury, with me staying in hostel, I couldn’t take care of her and my useless, USELESS maid didn’t f**king take care of her!! Urrgghhh this fact still pisses me off to the core of my bones! She did not bother to change the water or clean the mossy container, which obviously worsened her condition. **screaming my head off**

 

            Bonnie died on January 22^nd, when I was at the hostel. My maid texted me. I called the house and no one picked up. I called my youngest brother, Zaim, and he said my Dad actually requested him not to tell me yet because he didn’t want to bother me studying (as if it would make any difference if I found out later), but Zaim admitted it anyway since I already knew. When I went back home the next day I actually dug up her grave for a last look. Call me crazy, but hey, maybe I am. Surprisingly, she wasn’t stiff yet. I cut out some of her fur for memories (shut up, you). I then told my Dad about the surgery she could’ve had and how my Mom said we shouldn’t have it. He said to my Mom, “So? Isn’t our Bonnie worth that 400?” That’s how meaningful Bonnie is to my family.

 

To top that with a cute little red cherry, months later, the stupid, STUPID Indonesian worker that has been working for our new house on which the land Bonnie was buried underneath, let the bulldozer dug her out and be thrown in the dump unknown to mankind when he f**king knew perfectly well Bonnie was buried at the corner and he swore that place would remain untouched throughout the whole construction. Asshole.

 

Thirdly, I will write this openly because I try to be an honest person at all times and I am not ashamed of myself or at what happened and therefore I will write it here. I had quite an argument - but I did not fall out from my relationship - with my ex-roommate, Siti. It happened on a mildly rainy day. I was in the room after class and I was a bit wet myself from the rain. I was sitting on the bed reading a magazine when Siti banged the door open. I am near-sighted and I couldn’t really see her properly but I could tell she was a bit wet, too. I suppressed a giggle indicating a thought like “oh, you’re wet, too”, and resumed perusing the magazine. Then she threw her bag on the floor, closed the door with another bang, and marched up to her corner. I asked what’s wrong and she ignored me, throughout the day, and the rest of the semester.

 

I then texted Hajar, our mutual friend and one who is close to Siti. I asked her what’s wrong with Siti, she said she didn’t know, and I said why don’t she try cheering Siti up. She came. And Siti talked to her as if nothing happened while hiding from me behind the curtains. I was pretty upset, honestly, because as far as I knew, I didn’t do anything wrong. Hell, I wasn’t the one who made her wet but I was punished for it. Sigh. I was pretty offended because I didn’t know anything for she didn’t bother to tell me. And then, Hajar too didn’t want to tell me. I just found out that Siti felt I shouldn’t have laughed at her. Whatever it was, I did apologize the moment she walked in the door.

 

Later, of course, I found out what actually happened to her (though I shan’t discuss it further). Had she told me what had happened, I would’ve apologized profusely, because I think (and it’s safe to say that many would agree) that it’s normal and not at all offensive to giggle a tiny bit when someone went through what you also went through (in this case, a bit wet from the rain). Of course, when I later found out, it was more than a splash of rain. But in the name of God, how could I have ever known. Personally, at that time, I think she shouldn’t have treated me the way she did. That period was so awkward with her that I couldn’t stay in the same room with her. She wouldn’t talk to me at all and as far as her knowledge is concerned, I still did not know what happened to her, though I did much guesswork that turned out quite accurate.

 

We only called it truce during the last days before term ended. We told our sides of stories and we’re both OKAY now (I think haha. Siti kau jangan marah ye aku tulis kat sini. Nak luah je. Jgn terasa tau!! Since we’re both okay now ^.^)

 

The fourth case would be failing my Law paper. This, I will not say much. Basically, I failed it. The result came out during the short semester (intersession). At first, we found out that there would be no supplementary paper. I, and many others were devastated because the intersession was the last semester for our Diploma, which had only two subjects, and they were the definitely-going-to-pass subjects. So, if we failed only Law, we obviously have to re-sit the paper first before going to Degree. Therefore, if there was no supplementary paper, a semester would be wasted with only one lousy subject. Eventually, things sorted out, I struggled again for the paper during intersession, and thankfully passed. Tu je.

 

The fifth (and the last that I’m going to discuss because now I’m effing hungry) would be the World War III between my ex-friends (Abby, Una & Timmy) and I. I might write another entry about them because it’s pretty long heee. Basically it happened right before our final examinations this year and they totally made my heart and mind hay-wired. As I’m very, very, very, very, very, extremely hungry right about now, I’m just going to say they are basically the most arrogant, bossy, backstabbing bitches I’ve ever had the misery and misfortune to encounter. Need I say more?

 

As you can see, I have been relentlessly pitiful (and basically suck) at writing conclusions. One, because when writing, towards the end I would always get hungry and would abandon all armours and bullets to get food. Two, in this case, this entry has been way too long and I couldn’t have bored you any worse. Three, I simply suck in concluding (well hey, I’m never good in goodbyes either, anyway).

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, these are only a scrap of the unfortunate events throughout year 2008. I sure as Hell hope you can tell that these alone are enough to make my hair frizz and fall! Go ahead. Tell me I’m wrong. 

The Memory Keeper's Daughter/Twilight

The day before yesterday, I went out with Nazim and my two cousins; Yaya, aged 9 and Iqa, aged 8 (boy, did we look like a family!). Supposedly, I were to drop off the kids for their art class at Ikano’s da Vinci but unfortunately (yes, quite unfortunate actually) they weren’t informed that there wasn’t any class on that day (being ignorant, my aunt, the kids, Nazim and I didn’t realize it was the Sultan’s birthday, thus, public holiday). So I was stuck with them for my date with Nazim.

The four of us then watched a movie, Twilight. In my opinion, it was a very nice movie, though I can’t yet compare it with the original book, because, you know, most probably for those who’ve read it before watching the movie has had to set the scene in their own imagination and believe their version is way better!

So this led me to wanting to read the Twilight series! Devastatingly, however desperately I want to read the books, I can’t put my money where my mouth is! So my beloved, yes, beloved Nazim has agreed to buy me the first book provided I finish the book I was currently reading; The Memory Keeper’s Daughter. On that particular day, I had only one more chapter to go, anyway. Besides finish reading the book, he asked me to write a summary and review on it! Here! So as I’m such a sucker, I agreed. Here goes…

 

The Memory Keeper’s Daughter is a really, really good read.  I came to read the book upon the advice of my two friends, Dianna and Naquyah. The book is somewhat tragically touching and it shifts you from believing one party to another. The author, Kim Edwards has created a tale of regret and redemption with wisdom and compassion.

It started by introducing a man, Dr. David Henry and his wife, Norah Henry and their interweaving early romantic lives.  She was pregnant, without knowledge of carrying twins. Though he was a doctor, he was not an obstetrician. Circumstances changed when Norah had a premature birth. Dr. David then delivered his own twins.

First came Paul, a perfect and healthy baby boy. Norah passed out and the second child was born. Being a doctor, David noticed immediately that his second child, Phoebe had Down syndrome. It was the year 1964, and children with this syndrome are often sent to institutions as they would normally develop heart complications and die at an early age.

When he was younger, David had a sister who also suffered from Down syndrome and died early. He saw how his mother had grieved over the death of his sister. His intention was to spare Norah from that kind of misery and made a split-second decision when Norah was still unconscious. He asked his nurse, Caroline Gill, to take Phoebe to an institution.

Caroline did, but when she saw how horrible the institution was, she took the child, moved to another city and raised her. When Norah awoke, David wanted to tell her what had happened. Instead of telling Norah the truth like he planned, David told Norah that Phoebe had died.

Throughout their lives together, from this lie, built a wall between David and Norah, David and Paul. His guilt had kept his distant. David had tried time and again to reconcile with Caroline and confront Norah with the truth. He failed to do so each time. However, he did send money from time to time to Caroline for Phoebe. Caroline also sent him photos of Phoebe.

The wall has led them to lead their separate lives. David, constantly with his camera, called the Memory Keeper, tried to capture each moment to make up for what he had lost. Norah ventured herself into a traveling business and had affairs. Paul drains and channels his anger into music. They grew apart day by day and Phoebe grew unexpectedly healthy and happy with Caroline and her husband. Both sides with separate lives as if they are not related in anyway whatsoever with the exception of David and Caroline's correspondence.

In the end, at age 57, David died, taking his darkest secret with him. A few years before, he and Norah had separated. Norah was now engaged to another man and Paul soaring with his career as a musician. Caroline also received the news of David’s death. Later, since the night Norah gave birth to her twins, Caroline went up to her for the first time and told her the truth. Shocking as it was, Norah was furious at first and tried to forgive David. Paul took a job near Phoebe so he could be close with her.

And I don’t know how to conclude this story, therefore, the end.

 

Gosh, writing a review is exhausting and self-mind-blowing! Exciting at first, but towards the end…. bleeh!!! Anyway, that's just a near-rough summary. Honestly, though, the novel is a really good read and you guys should read it! It’s so touching that at times I felt like crying (read: felt). 

For me, I was really mad at first when David told Norah that Phoebe had died. Throughout the read, I realized that his motives were good and he loved Norah enough to not want her to suffer. He really didn’t think that Phoebe would live a long life. In the end, my “menyampahness” shifted to Norah because she is like this really mengada-ngada type of wife! I mean, she cheated, for crying out loud! Gosh, I really despise two-timers. Plus, David did try to tell Norah the truth but Caroline wouldn’t let him meet her nor Phoebe!

 

Anyway, now that the review is written and published, I’m expecting my Twilight book, Nazim!!!!!